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England will ban their players from swimming off the golden sandy beaches of Brazil next summer, because the sea is full of sewage. "A sewer runs past the squad's テつ」180-a-night Royal Tulip hotel," reports the Sun. The same newspaper (and many others) quotes the Brazilian sports minister Aldo Rebelo, speaking about "the massed robberies and the rapes that happen" in his nation's cities. "We do not have the same safety conditions on the streets as in European cities," he said. Other than the distance and the money and the floating faeces and the near-certainty of violent assault, however, Brazil remains an ideal holiday destination.